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JULY 2017, ENGLAND - Hello again, witches and wizards. It’s Cassandra Lovegood here with a … peculiar article for this month. Truthfully, there’s no way to really describe it, other than the bare, plain facts. This reporter’s only logical conclusion for the crime would be a lot of Firewhiskey. Like, the amount that the Marauders/the Weasley twins would have snuck into Hogwarts Firewhiskey, because- Sorry, folks, that got off topic! Note for all of you out there thinking about it, don’t buy Monsieur Brown’s Enchanting Quill because the thing is a bloody rip-off that spirals off on its own tangent. To the actual point of this article now!
Tuesday morning, Auror Lily King had just Apparated down to Diagon Alley to look into an owl that had said, and I quote, “Not a thing on this Earth that I can use to explain it.” Once there, she found herself flabbergasted at the pure ridiculousness of the scene. Diagon Alley was three feet underwater, Muggle flotation devices floating limply around, children and teenagers happily splashing about, with posters plastered over shops advertising swim shorts, bikinis, swim toys, and popsicles.
Shaking her head in disbelief at the scene as she detailed it, Auror Lily King repeated, “It was just ridiculous, is all I can say. I understand being excited about summer, but why in Merlin’s name would you do that? Took forever for some experts to get down there and dispel all the charms and such on it. There are rumours it even took an Unspeakable to get rid of the spellwork, but that’s probably just a rubbish rumour some of the boys down in Games and Sports used to entertain themselves on lunch break.”
Through stellar detective work, Aurors quickly discovered and apprehended the criminals. Although, one might say that criminal is a strong word to describe the culprits. Those behind the act were three twenty-one-year-old wizards who sheepishly agreed to explain their actions. James Hawt, Adam Harris, and Oliver Cook had been celebrating at a Wizarding bar, over Harris’s acceptance onto a professional Quidditch team and Hawt’s new apartment with his girlfriend when they decided to drunkenly spread their own joy to other possible residents of Diagon Alley.
“It was stupid,” Cook said, blushing. “We were on our third pint of Firewhiskey and it all became kind of a blur. The last thing we all remember is laughing at James’ joke and then the next thing we knew, we’ve crashed on the floor of Lyd and Daph’s apartment [Lydia Hawt and Daphne Thompson, Harris and Cook’s respective girlfriends], with them yelling at us.”
Luckily for all involved, no one was injured and there were no remaining traces of the vandalism. The three wizards will not have any time in Azkaban, but each must pay a 1,000 Galleon fine and serve twenty hours of community service. I think we can all agree that it was quite an interesting start to summer vacation for this year!
With the election only weeks away, it’s time to focus on the rhetoric being released from the candidates attempting to be re-elected for their parties and their places at the Ministry of Magic. As always, their hired spin doctors are there to whip the public into a frenzy, accusing one party of something, and declaring themselves the ‘best party to vote for,’ but what about all the nitty gritty details behind it? Having spoken to some of our dedicated readers, we’ve concluded that the economy is an important part of securing votes from the public. So, just what does this entail? How are the parties supposed to outgun each other and target the voters? Simple - by telling the voters what they want to hear. Although not illegal, it can be argued that it’s unethical and immoral, but those are just labels some politicians revel in.
As we all know and expect, what you hear in the run-up to elections isn’t always what you get at the end of it. Many promises are made from overzealous Ministry workers to secure their jobs for a few more years, but in the end, some promises are just too much for any stable government to agree on. So, what are we being promised this time?Equal Pay
This is at the forefront of many young people’s minds after the investigative reporting of one of our own that shone a light on the gender pay gap in the ministry and many magical corporations. That same pay gap is just as common in smaller businesses. There is simply no excuse for a gender pay gap in the 21st century. Equality is the foundation of a solid government and a flourishing social and economic country, so, why is this not the case at the Ministry itself? Our reporter exposed the dramatic gap, which grew wider the higher the employees rose on the chain of command. The parties, of course, are promising to correct this, but the reality is, nobody knows if it’ll be fixed. As we heard, from a certain Minister, who made the papers last week for being fired over his comments about gender, equality, and sexism, “The gender pay gap is just something made up by goody two shoes, to make life seem worse for a woman.” I’ll leave you to make your own minds up on that.Corruption
One of the main issues raised on the campaign trail was the need to stamp out corruption within the walls of the Ministry. Hundreds of thousands of galleons are made on the side each year from ministers illegally using their powers to support companies in favour of receiving a percentage of profits from them. Or for the scandals of hardworking witches and wizards paying their taxes to fund the trips and expenses of some ministers, another scandal which was broken by our diligent reporters. Of course, the witches and wizards who committed these crimes were dealth with. They were asked to 'pay fines' and 'publicly apologise' – with statements most likely written by someone else and delivered by the Ministry of Magic's spokesperson to a select crowd of reporters. (The Daily Prophet's invitation, amazingly enough, got 'lost' in the owl post.) The promise to stamp out corruption is going to be a hard one, but one that they ensure they’ll deal with.
The reality of this is that the economy is going to take a regardless of which party wins this election. The economic problems we could face vary between the gender pay gap growing, childcare costs rising for the working parent, our tax money being used to support ministers staying in luxury hotels instead of commuting from their homes to their workplaces. All we can do is sit, and wait, and watch.
Summer is finally here and in a few days, the students will be rushing home from Hogwarts to enjoy the sights, sounds, and wonders of the school holidays. But that excitement can quickly turn to boredom as the holidays drag on, so, how do you keep your children entertained? Easy! The Daily Prophet has done all the hard work for you. We’ve sent out our reporters to scout out the hippest, happening places for kids of all ages to enjoy, and they’re all within the United Kingdom, which eliminates most travel difficulties! Let’s start!
Over in Wales, the Build-Your-Own-Dragon-Tournament is taking place at the end of July. The competition is in its 60th year and it’s a guaranteed event to win over your children! Teams of four-to-six people are tasked with creating a dragon out of the materials provided. The team that wins will be given a trophy and a one-week holiday at the local witches and wizards caravan park. The winning dragon will be displayed for the entire year at the Welsh Museum of Magical Kind. If you get the chance, you should check it out! Teams can enter on the day, and instructions on how to get there can be found at the back of this edition.
Scotland is holding its annual Hide-and-Go-Seek-Nessie Event! Each year, Nessie, the famous Loch Ness Monster, will travel in an area around her loch and it’s up to the children at the event to find her. It’s a fun event for children thirteen and below. The event is followed up by a picture and signing event with Nessie, who is of course, legendary, and a picnic and barbeque for all of those there.
There are two summer camps going on this year, the first in the heart of the Yorkshire Wolds, where children of all ages can stay for either a week or two and are surrounded by mystical and magic games and activities. Each child will be placed in a cabin with three others and at the end of the stay, the cabin with the most points will win trophies and exciting prizes! The other camp is hosted by the British Quidditch League and is for those aspiring to become Quidditch players, whether to be professional, in the future or to join one of the House teams at Hogwarts. Either way, it’s a brilliant way for kids to spend the summer if they’re obsessed with Quidditch. The camp is for children aged twelve to eighteen and is run by some world-class Quidditch players! There is still time to enroll your children if you haven’t done so already.
There are many more exciting places to spend the summer with your families! Check out the pamphlet included in this issue of the Daily Prophet for more suggestions and have a wonderful summer!
Miracles can be hard to come by these days, but California saw one just yesterday. On one of the busiest roads in America, just after one of the busiest times of day, a small plane crashed onto the roadway. The 405 in Orange County, close to LA, has heavy traffic with thousands of people driving along it every day. A small six-seater plane crashed onto the road just after 10 AM on Friday, June 30th.
The miracle was that there were no deaths. The two plane passengers had some injuries. One car’s passenger also had injuries. Other than that, the people were safe. Plane crashes scare people terribly, because crashes in them are so much more likely to end in fatalities. When disasters strike highly populated urban centres, the death tolls are often high. It is exceedingly refreshing to report no loss of life whatsoever in such dangerous circumstances.Never Forget
World War II and the Holocaust happened just under a century ago, yet Germany has yet to answer fully for the deeds done. Next week, German officials are scheduled to meet at a conference which handles Jewish compensation for war crimes. The topic specifically: the Iasi Pogrom.
The Iasi Pogrom resulted in the deaths of 13,000-15,000 Jews. Some were killed while they were being rounded up. Others were killed in a public square. However, most died on the death train. German (and the allied Romanian) forces crammed the Jews into train cars where they died of heat, starvation, and the crowding. Dead Jews were tossed onto the tracks along the journey.
Up until now, German officials have argued that this case does not meet the requirements for compensation. Several attorneys had no patience with this view and stated it is clearly a case of an “open ghetto,” the basic requirement which has caused Germany to pay $70 million since the end of the war. This scheduled meeting gives hope that the German position on compensating surviving family members from this horrible event has changed.Celebrating Freedom
People all over the world have an opinion about American President Donald Trump. Love him or hate him, Trump did something today which most likely won’t make anyone go for the Twitter pitchforks. President Trump delivered a speech at a “Freedom Rally” to honour American War Veterans. He personally saluted a World War II veteran named Harry Miller. Miller fought in the war as a teenager, signing up to fight and lying about his age. Trump also saluted a wounded warrior named Luis Avila.
I hope, as I’m sure many others do, his pretty words won’t be all he contributes to American’s heroes. He mentioned things like quicker responses for veterans who ask for assistance and better psychological health help for returning military. America is known for its liberty and the battles fought to achieve it, but I hope people continue to remember the people who fought in those battles.
The past month has been full of surprises at the Ministry of Magic. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those surprises have been less than pleasant. The plethora of recent events has led many to wonder if summer has become the season of scandals for the Ministry employees.
The first in our list of Ministry happenings is the recent discovery of missing money in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. A new secretary was the first to notice the lack of funds and was quick to report it to an overseer. After a complete investigation, Department Head Jonathan Holland was caught red handed with a fistful of cash. He is currently in Ministry custody, along with his stolen goods.
With Holland out of the picture, George Malone was promoted to the position of Department Head. After holding the position for only five days, however, Malone was found to be in the possession of a large number of illegal plants and potions. Since this was far from being his first offence, he was removed from the Ministry of Magic and sentenced to Azkaban despite his claims that the substances in question were part of his work.
From there, things really started to go downhill. Gary Hall, an employee of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, was found guilty of vandalism after he brought his pet skunk to work. The small animal ended up running rampant in the Department of Mysteries, causing heaps of trouble. Needless to say, it will be a long time before the Department of Mysteries smells the way it used to.
Immediately following the skunk incident, another Ministry employee in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was caught using the Imperius Curse on an employee in the Department of Mysteries. This, too, wreaked unsurpassable havoc and confusion.
To top it all off, the head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation, Stacy Hartley, had a heart attack as a result of her over-indulgence in Polyjuice Potion. As soon as she was released from St Mungo's Hospital last Thursday, she was taken in for questioning about her use of the Polyjuice Potion. As of yet, there has been no word as to why she was drinking so much Polyjuice Potion or who she was trying to impersonate, but there have been rumours going around that she was really a Death Eater in disguise. These rumours are most likely nothing more than a figment of somebody's imagination and should not be trusted. Just as a word to the wise, do not believe everything you hear on the street!
With all of the evidence before you now, it's your turn to decide. Is summer really the season of scandals? Or is this all just a rather crazy and chaotic coincidence? Ponder that long and hard, dear readers, and do your best to avoid being the next big scandal.
Our reporters have stumbled upon some news coming from the Department of Magical of Games and Sports. Rumours are that the current head of the department is planning to resurrect the Triwizard Tournament. The last time that the tournament took place was during the 1994 and 1995 school years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And the choice to abandon the prospect of any future tournaments was due to the untimely death of Cedric Diggory, one of the Hogwarts champions, due to illicit involvement by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
The rumours of its resurrection have come about from a reshuffle in the department caused by its new head, Albert Waddles, a retired champion Gobstones player who has only been in the position six months and whose election win was the centre of a voting controversy. Mr Waddles, who is known to be outspoken, especially during meetings at the Ministry, apparently wants to bring back the tournament to create revenue as he feels there is a market out there to exploit. Something akin to the reality television programmes that are popular with Muggles is what he has in mind.
This has been strongly opposed by many people in his own department, citing security and ethical reasons. We managed to catch up with one of his undersecretaries, who wanted to remain anonymous. “I can’t believe he wants to try and bring this back, after what happened the last time it was done. I’m at a loss for words. How he can be so insensitive to the Diggory family, all to bring in revenue, which the department can find from other, more viable and reliable sources. I’ve put in a transfer notice as I simply cannot abide by this anymore.”
The sentiment was shared by another member of Mr Waddles’ staff who recently quit after finding out about the rumours of the tournament coming back. “I am one hundred percent against this farce. I have worked in that department for nearly fifty years, and it has gone to the dogs. Waddles does not deserve the position of head of the department and if you ask me, he deserves to be tried and convicted. There was no way he received that many votes to win the department head seat!”
It makes you wonder, just how far off these rumours are if members of the department are willing to quit over them. I would say that we’ll know either way within the next few weeks just how far Mr Waddles’ plans go.
It’s finally summer, and you know what that means: no school, warm weather, and the chance to forget for a couple of months about all of the holiday work you still have to do.
Of course, here on HEX, summer only means one (well, maybe two) things. First, we have the long-awaited summer event arriving in our midst; and perhaps summer does not mean that school is completely finished. Read on to find out more…Seen and Unforeseen
We’ve all fallen asleep in a History of Magic lesson with Professor Binns – that man’s voice seems to have soporific qualities. However, how would you react if you awoke to find yourself back in the year 1995?
In this year’s Summer Event, you’re required to choose your side – will you fight in the light, or delve into the darkness? Select carefully, as this will affect the competitions you can enter, and your side cannot be changed once it is designated. Head on over now for the chance to win some fabulous prizes!Summer Classes
Yes, you’ve heard that right: more classes, for those people who just cannot resist subjecting themselves to homework during their free time. Don’t worry – although you cannot earn House Points from this homework, you can still net yourself an instant Galleon reward if you do a good job.
Interested in learning more about the Ministry of Magic, which is this year’s summer classes theme? Check out this thread in the Entrance Hall for more information.RPC Update
It seems that while many users are dealing with the sudden time-travelling over in the Summer Event, the Moderators in the RPC forums have found themselves in a tricky dilemma of their own. While some have awoken to find themselves in a different person’s body, others still have found themselves sprouting beards and grey hair, and starting every sentence with, “When I was your age” or, “Back in my day”.
Interested in trying out an identity swap for the day? Check out July’s RPotM, Freaky Fanday, to try switching your favourite character from any fandom into another body. On the other hand, are you more interested in a sudden growth spurt into adulthood? Then this month’s RP Freestyle, Little Big Man, is for you!Arts & Graphics Forum
This month, the A&G Forum is diving into the weird-and-wonderful, observing some of the world’s strangest mythical creatures (we can’t help but wonder if Newt Scamander had something to do with this).
Do you have a mythical creature in your head that wants to escape onto paper? Tell everyone all about its legendary tale over in the Writing Challenge. Are you more of a Newt-type person, and would prefer to instruct others on how to care for your beautiful creation? If that’s the case, this month’s Graphics Challenge is right up your creature-loving street!Social Media
The Social Media Forum has had an exciting update this month. Not only are there now gorgeous avatars that you can wear, you could also earn some amazing prizes for doing so! There’s also a new chance to chat, well … socially, and a brilliant new system to earn yourself some raffle tickets.
Has the opportunity for new avatars sparked your interest? You can view them here, as well as find out more details on them (and trust me, you won’t want to miss them). Want to find out what other people use social media for? Start discovering over in the Bi-Weekly Chat today! Can you be tempted by a Muggle Conversation Contraption, or a secret Special Prize? Check out the Social Media Bi-Monthly Raffle for more information!Daily Prophet Contest Winners
Congratulations to the winners of the Daily Prophet's June contest - Word Search. Thank you to everyone who participated in the contest - we hope you all enjoyed it. We had a TON of entries. Without any further ado, the winners are:
Once again, thank you for taking part in this month's contest. We hope to see you again next month!
That’s everything for this month so far, dear readers. Be certain to keep an eye on the homepage for any further announcements; if this summer continues to be as exciting as it currently is, I can guarantee that you’ll have a fabulous time this year!
Summer is upon us at last, dear readers! In the wake of the sunlight, we’re answering a handful of your questionable queries in our monthly Ask Us. Read on to find out how you can survive the heat wave…
Goosebumps! I've got goosebumps! And it has nothing to do with all of the Death Eaters lurking about. No, no, no. But it does have everything to do with all the budding romance around.
That's right! Even the presence of all these soul-sucking creatures can't dampen the mood when love is budding all around. In fact, I have - not just one - not even two - but three. Yes, three! Three amazing stories of love.
For the first mystery love story, we have our mystery woman who we shall thus dub as Changeling. Her uncanny powers and joyful personality have always lightened everyone's mood and put a smile on people’s faces. But lately, we've noticed that she seems a bit down. Rumours have come up that it is due to the death of a relative, but we know the truth. This is a clear sign of unrequited love! And who is the mystery man who holds her heart? Well, perhaps the answer eludes us because we are looking for an ordinary wizard. But ho! Oh no, Changeling didn't settle for any ordinary wizard. She picked a really mysterious one. As mysterious as the dark side of the (full) moon.
Now, our next mystery lady was able to snag an equally mysterious man. Let's dub her Femme. Femme and her mystery man are going to have a happy ending. The happiest kind of them all: marriage! That's right, a wedding in the middle of all this drama, terror, and chaos. Because - why not. Phoenix bursting out of cakes, goblin-made tiaras, and extra protection for all the guests. The event would definitely be a memory that people could draw on in case they'd need to cast a Patronus one day.
Last but certainly not least, is mystery lady number three. She snagged the ultimate catch. The one and only - Chosen One. It was a long time coming, and none of the family members seemed that much surprised that it happened. He has been spending time in their home before she even went to Hogwarts.
And there you have it. All three mystery ladies of love. I bet you have your own guesses as to who these three are, right? Well, your guess is as good as mine.
To read more about the latest celebrity news, make sure you pick up the next Daily Prophet issue when it hits the Newsstand!
Hello, my dears! Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 37 years, you will know that July 31st marks the anniversary of the birth of the famous Harry Potter. I could never miss the date; my nephews are massive fans, and they always visit with their Potter Pals tucked under their arms and their replica Potter wands clutched in their fists. In fact, if I’m completely honest … I’m quite a big fan myself!
Therefore, in honour of the great Harry Potter, who was raised by Muggles, I have decided to teach you all how to run your household like a Muggle for the day – with the help of Muggle aficionado, Arthur Weasley. It’s time to stow away your wands in the kitchen drawer (or, if you want to be really flashy, you can use a Muggle device called a “safe”, so long as you don’t forget the combination), change out of your wizards’ robes and into a plain set of jeans and a t-shirt, and get yourself prepared for “Live-Like-a-Muggle Day”!
First up, floating candles and balls of light are not the common way to light a Muggle home. Instead, many Muggles use something called “ekeltricity”, which is supposed to be an extremely effective way of “powering” lamps, kettles, and a very neat device that can dry your clothing without the need for a spell. In order to get this magical supply, you’ll need to use a “fellytone” (you can usually find them in strange cubicles positioned around town), find the fellytone number of a person called an “ekeltrician”, and summon them to your house to get you an ekeltricity supply. Make sure to hide the children away while the ekeltrician is round; we learned the hard way that they don’t appreciate fireworks being set off next to them while they’re working.
Next, when travelling to work, it is very important that you do not Apparate, use the Floo Network, or fly on a broomstick. In place of these, you must travel using a Muggle vehicle. If you do not have the funds to purchase yourself a “car” (a Muggle version of a flying carpet), you could simply hire a “taxi”, which is a car that can be hired to take you to destinations for a fee. In addition, you could ride a Muggle bus; it’s cheaper and a lot more comfortable than the Knight Bus. This one won’t take you straight to your destination, but rather it will drop you off down the road – make sure you’re wearing your walking shoes!
As a small note from the Ministry of Magic, I am required to remind you that traffic on Muggle roads can be a huge issue, but, no matter how frustrated you get, you must not charm your vehicle to fly over the other cars. Similarly, if you do decide to take a taxi, please do not get it to drop you off directly at the visitors’ entrance to the Ministry; it would create some awkward questions if a hundred different people were being dropped off at the same shabby, red fellytone cubicle.
Finally, head down to the local “supermarket” (a gigantic Muggle shop) and purchase yourself a device called a “Tee Vee”, which you can then hook up to your new ekeltricity supply. Attach an aerial to the roof of your house and enjoy wasting the evening watching pointless “Tee Vee shows”, and arguing with your husband over whether to watch the sports channel or the shopping channel. Honestly, this was possibly the worst decision of the day – not least because I had to endure four hours of a Muggle sport known as “football”, in which the players seemed incapable of scoring a goal.
There you have it, then, my dears! Why not give “Live-Like-a-Muggle Day” a try in your household this year? Personally, I think I’ll skip this part of the celebrations – I don’t think I could cope with another four hours of watching people kick a ball around a field!
Okay, I'll be honest with you guys. I have absolutely NO idea how to do anything cooking-related. Like, if you put me in front of a stove, all I can do is boil water. Although, if you consider toasting and microwaving stuff something related to cooking, then I can DEFINITELY cook, yes! Putting stuff to toast is an art, after all, and putting the number of minutes the microwave has to work? Damn, it takes practice!
Kidding aside, cooking has never been one of my strong suits, but I do like looking at people cooking. (Or at least the food they end up making.) While main courses are nice to look at (and to eat, of course!), I've always been fond of sweet things. Whether it's chocolate, chocolate, or more chocolate, sweets are what make MY food world go round! I know it isn't always good to have too many of them, but I can't help it! You have cookies, cake, or ice cream? Count me in!
I figured I could put my sweet tooth to good use by finding the perfect recipe to celebrate Harry's birthday. What I found was something called Butterbeer Cupcakes! What better way to celebrate a birthday than by combining two things you love: Butterbeer and cupcakes! I was sold on the name, and the picture didn't help change my decision, so here goes! While I can't personally make these myself, I would definitely love to take a bite (or two... or more...) out of the cupcakes any of you guys could make!
Let me know if you have some extras, and I'll be there to help out! Food tasting is a skill too!
Recipe yields 18 cupcakes.
Hello dear readers. For this month’s On the Streets, in accordance with our wonderful theme, I asked fellow witches and wizards two very important questions. What is their favourite thing to do in Summer? And is there anything they are most looking forward to for HEX this season?
As you can imagine, there were varying answers from wanting to use swimming as an escape from the hot weather or to do things the opposite in order to enjoy the very same hot weather. The answers range from getting out and about to simply curling up with a good book. When it comes to HEX, my interviewees are either looking forward to annual events like 4th of July, taking summer classes before the new semester starts or looking forward to just all round HEX fun no matter the event.
Let’s have a look at some of their answers.
There you have it, folks, and I’m sure some of you were nodding along thinking ‘yeah, that sounds about right’ or even ‘that’s pretty much my summer, too.’ I know I was, especially escaping the heat with a good swim; heat and I don’t really get along.
Well, until next time dear readers.